Health

Mental load and the right to rest: why mothers also deserve to travel with peace of mind

For a family trip to be smooth, caring for mothers needs to be a priority, from organization to return

By Gabriela Pisati Landi

“Mental load is what makes us sleep exhausted and wake up tired. It’s thinking about everything, all the time, even when we’re not doing anything.” — Vanessa Zanello, French psychologist and researcher who popularized the term.

You’ve probably heard the expression, maybe even used it jokingly — but mental load is serious business. Invisible, silent, and persistent, it accompanies thousands of women worldwide, especially those who assume, voluntarily or involuntarily, the role of primary caregivers within families. It’s worth taking a careful look at this daily accumulation of tasks and expectations — and the impact it has even in moments that should be about rest and pleasure.

Planning a trip, for example, is for many women an activity that sounds promising: the chance to break from routine, enjoy the children, recharge energies. But in practice, what frequently happens is the opposite. Who’s going to bring the sunscreen? How to organize the luggage? Is the hotel safe? And the food, will it please the children? Will there be Wi-Fi? What’s the best transfer? There are so many questions, spreadsheets, lists, and worries that the pre-trip period already begins with accumulated exhaustion — and time away becomes just a continuation of routine, with different scenery in the background.

This isn’t an individual problem. It’s structural. Even when the trip is planned as a family, even when there’s practical division of tasks, the burden of mentally coordinating everything still falls, mostly, on women. And although it’s possible to delegate execution, supervision and planning usually remain with them.

Caring for the caregiver: a new look at rest

At Family Trip Magazine, we believe traveling shouldn’t just be about choosing a beautiful destination. It should be, above all, about creating space for connection: with children, with partners, with nature and — why not? — with the woman who exists beyond motherhood.

This is why more and more families have sought support from specialized agencies, like Viajar com Crianças and Viajar com Adolescentes, which were born precisely from the desire to offer a complete, careful, and respectful experience for all family members.

The itinerary starts with listening, not ready-made formulas. The curation includes everything from choosing the right hotel to suggesting meaningful experiences. Support accompanies from pre-departure to return. The result is a trip that allows real rest, genuine connection, and space for what matters: being together, without overload.

For those planning on their own: some practical suggestions

Of course, it’s not always possible to hire an agency. And we know that even with all the planning, family logistics tend to be intense. But some precautions can help make the trip lighter — especially for mothers:

Delegate with clarity: It’s not enough to ask for help. Distribute responsibilities in advance. Someone takes care of documents, another handles reservations, another manages luggage.
Include moments for yourself: An hour of reading alone, a massage, a silent walk. Even when traveling as a family, you can (and should) prioritize yourself.
Adapt expectations: The perfect trip isn’t one where everything goes right, but one where everyone feels good. Embrace the unexpected.
Avoid pre-trip accumulation: Don’t leave all organization for the last minute. Plan lists in advance, buy what’s needed gradually, and involve children in the process.
Create real breaks: Don’t fill the itinerary with activities all the time. Rest also needs to fit into planning.

Mothers’ rest is care for the whole family

As Anne Lamott reminds us, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes — including you.” And this applies to mothers too.

Mental load doesn’t disappear on its own. For it to lighten, the environment needs to change, family dynamics need to evolve, and the way rest is organized also needs to be rethought. Traveling light is a right — and a gesture of care that, when directed toward mothers, benefits the whole family.

Our invitation is this: that women be remembered not just with flowers or tributes, but with space, listening, and concrete actions that enable true rest. That time away from routine is also time within oneself.